Sleeping with bread Monday, erm... Friday.

Its Friday and you can guess the kind of week it's been if I'm writing my Monday post on Friday. In the last month there have been some great changes and shifting in my vocational life and it makes me realize how much my vocation had to do with my life overall.

Letting go and holding on:

The month of July seems to be a month of great letting go. I've experienced the death of my family dog, the passing of one of my dearest spiritual mentors - Grace Connors, and the ending of my time of ministry with Westminster Presbyterian Church due to economic reasons.

Sometimes we have the choice to let go of people, work or things. This time has been composed mostly of things passing away with little choice from me. Pets get ill, elderly people reach their physical limits, and budgets - well they run out of funds. In these cases - there is not much choice I have except in how I choose to react to the massive change around me.

I've started to grasp the idea of how to cope with all this change while floating in my mother-in-laws pool the other day. I was puttering in the water after working on her yard, and slipped an inner tube around my middle and proceeded to float my worries away. My son splashed and dove in the water. Noodles and water toys all around were dashed about in the middle schooler's created waves. Although I was experiencing all the changes and waves around me, I stayed above the water line thanks to my inner tube.

There are many things that I could use as my inner tube in this changed point of life. I could eat my way through. I could drink my way through. I could sulk my way through. I could even angry my way through, but in the end all those things (food, drink, sulking and anger.) would end up sinking me deeper under the tide of change.

In the past few weeks these words in the book of Matthew are ones that I can't seem to escape. I read them in my devotional the day after getting my lay off notice. I was watching Conan late one sleepless evening and the band, Thrice played their new song, "All who are weary." Yesterday I was updating my myspace page and came across a song by Waterdeep called - "perfectly fitted."

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

The important thing for me to remember is that Jesus "yoke" is my inner tube. Just as I allow Jesus to take my burdens and pick up the one he calls me to carry, I'm not alone in the labor. A yoke is intended for two oxen to carry. Just like a team of oxen, Jesus is carrying the other end of my burden and keeping my head above water.

As I daily let go of the expectations and plans I had for my life and take up the yoke of following Jesus. I know we are actually walking side by side. I will hold on to this yoke that is around me. No matter what waves of life reach my shore, I know Jesus is there to face them with me. Jesus, be my bread, be my yoke, be my inner tube. I'm in your hands.

Ch- ch- Changes!

This blog is a creative conversation between David Bowie's lyrics in his song "Changes" and me. I imagined what I'd say if we sat down over coffee and the topic if change.



You're here and I didn't expect you quite so soon. Give me a minute please.

Still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought Id got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But Ive never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
Im much too fast to take that test


The test is how I react to your presence with and around me. Do I freeze in fear or do I quickly turn my feet and land ready to meet the unfamiliar ground beneath.


Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Dont want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I cant trace time.

Strain and change push the chains of regularity - freeing me to become, to be and chase after with all my heart the truth the I believe.


I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through.

It's not all good, but it's not all bad. You never actually leave, you just play hide and seek for a while. Sometimes I'm ready for you're "Gotcha!", sometimes I'm not. Sometimes you're "Gotcha" is the one thing I needed the most to wake up.


Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Dont tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Wheres your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you cant trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace Im going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now youre gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I cant trace time
I said that time may change me
But I cant trace time.


Yes I'm older. Yes time is rolling along. You are one element that never leaves, never abandons, never departs. Even if you're difficult at times - at least I know you're faithful. So I embrace you - Change. Maybe some of your flexibility and grace will rub off on me.