Saturday, March 20, 2010

Sometimes things are just too small


Sweet Dreams by David Whyte from 'The House of Belonging'

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.


The slumber of winter has transitioned into spring. The season of lent's wilderness journey has carried us to a time of resurrection, joy and new life. This poem by David Whyte speaks about transition and change. According to the poet's perspective, a time of rest or dreaming can lead to an opportunity for growth, development and becoming alive again.

When I was a teenager, a friend gave me a gift of a hermit crab. I had a small tank for it to live in complete with, gravel, food and water and a treasure chest like you would see in a fish aquarium. One day when I came home from school, I looked in my hermit crab's home to see his shell was empty and he was no where to be found. I looked closer and saw that he had crawled out of his shell to search for something bigger, but because he did not find what he needed - he had died from too much exposure without a new shell. If we don't have the space we need, our growth - both physical and spiritual can become inhibited, delayed or stopped altogether.

My favorite line in the lovely poem above is its last sincere but direct statement, " ...anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you." Just like a hermit crab in search of a new larger shell to live in, we also need the space to keep growing if we are really going to live!

I think I'm drawn to this statement of "too small" because of the trend in society today to become smaller, especially in regard to physical size and stature. When you watch a film or look at a fashion magazine, the pressure of become smaller or less than than is quite evident. If it were possible in this culture of small to live in a healthy and sound manner instead of the dramatic standard of "becoming the next size smaller and then the next and the next" I think our world would look and be much different. In fact, if the focus of health and wellness would grow to a place of holistic inclusion - mind, body and spirit - our world would be a richer and more nurturing place to live. There is, as the poem suggests, something about a time of rest that leads to a time of growth and development.

Rest is an important part of our physical growth, so why wouldn't spiritual rest or nurturing also lead to development of the spirit?

Psalm 37 speaks to the reality of worry in life. People can spend a great deal of time worrying about all the possible problems that might happen. These worries, imagined or real, according to Psalm 37: 2... are like spring crocus flowers that are here today and tomorrow are nowhere to be found.

1 Don’t worry about the wicked
or envy those who do wrong.
2 For like grass, they soon fade away.
Like spring flowers, they soon wither.


Trusting God in a season of waiting or darkness can be difficult to bear, but God is not like the flowers that come and go. God is always present. Thankfully, our faith in God in times of challenge are combined with a generous helping of grace.

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.


God gives so much to us. If we center on lives in God, God helps to clear out space in what was once a "too-small" heart and helps it to grow in its capacity for love and purpose.

5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.


Spiritual waiting, resting, and holding on can be so difficult to do. Human nature, or for me my own impatience, causes me to want to achieve what I desire to achieve - when I want to achieve it - which is usually yesterday. However, in that period of waiting, it is possible to discover what in our lives is "too small" to fit into the desire God places in our hearts.

If we never pause in our spirit and wait upon God - we can miss the opportunity to connect with the true desire that would be God's best for us!

Some things in life are just too small for the real purpose of our lives. God's way, God's plan and God's dream for each one of us is often greater and grander than anything we've imagined. If we are to grow deep spiritual roots, it's necessary to take the time to connect with God and allow those sprouting roots the opportunity to grow.

Does something in life feel "too small'? Do you feel the need to dream a God dream or have your desires in life expand to all the possibilities God can see?

We need a moment to rest, so that we can grow, so that we can dream of the fantastic God desires that are waiting just around the corner - if only we could let go of the "too small" items we trying to hold on to.

Prayer:

God help us to live apart from worry, because you are greater than those weeds and those things that try to hold us captive in a place that is "too small" for your vision.

Open our eyes, our lives, our spirits and our church to rest in you, dream in you and reach to grow into the fullest vision you have for us as individuals and as a community in Christ. God, give us the right size shell for the lives you would have us live and help us to keep growing to be more like you - with big dreams and God-like desires.

Amen

Friday, March 19, 2010

The last day of winter

On this last "official" day of winter, Aggie and I are very happy to say farewell to cold winter mornings, layers and layers of winter gear, yak tracks and icy roads for our early morning treks.


We are also happy to greet the now tangible signs of spring: temps above the 30 degree mark prior to 7am, did I mention no more icy roads, and this lovely bunch of crocus that sprung up along my walk this week.



Can I dare say it - I think spring is finally here!
I've made it through my first running sometimes walking western NY winter. In April it will be two years since I started this process and journey of almost always daily exercise and jogging. It has been possible for me to get our the door with the help of my canine trainer coming to wake me up each day. Who would have thought that getting a dog from the Humane Society would be part of the key to becoming more active?

Now where did Aggie hide my shoes?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

PTS is GO...keep hoping!


Thank you to all who prayed and cheered me on to make the almost full enrollment for the Princeton Theological Seminary certificate program that begins at the end of April.
I received word today that I have a spot. Now I have to work out some travel and hotel, but I'm very excited and thankful for this wonderful opportunity. All week as I've waited to hear news, I've been hopeful - and how perfect as the theme for the first session coming up is HOPE!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Soup's on - Hunger is GONE!


Please join us at First Lutheran Church on Sunday March 21st for our second annual "Soup on - hunger is GONE!" Luncheon to benefit Joint Neighborhood Project of Jamestown NY!
Come sample some soup and see who will be crowned as "Best Soup Creator" for 2010. Soup will be served in the parlors from 12:30 to 2pm.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Holy Conversations: Want/ Need

The Holy Conversations question this week is:
What are some of the longings, desires and needs that have shaped your life? How has God used these desires, fulfilled these longings or responded to this need?
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There are many needs in life that I feel God has been a part of bringing to pass: finding a husband who loves God and me, becoming the Mom of two amazing and healthy children, and finding a vocation in ministry that is both challenging and fulfilling.

I think for me, beyond these big three needs, God has had a way of working in and thought all aspects of my life and caring for my needs in very practical and loving ways.

As a young woman of 18 years old trying to make her way in the world, God provided a safe place for me to live, work to pay my bills and a "family" when at that time I was not in communication with my own.

I found a local church to be a part of, learn in and even became a member of the worship team where I was encouraged to use my musical gifts.

Over the years, from 18 to almost 40 now - I have seen God provide for mine and my families needs on what I think are a daily gift. When lay-offs came or funding was cut at the non-profit both my husband and I worked, jobs in our field were provided in the exact time-frame we needed.

I'm not saying that every wish and desire I've every had was provided to me from God, it's fair to say I and my family have had our share of challenges and need for creative thinking; but even in the midst of difficulty - God had made himself known to us.

God has worked through the kindness of neighbors, the gifts of strangers, and the presence of peace in times that were defiantly not peaceful. God has made a way at times that in my human nature would have been impossible to live through. There have been bad circumstances that God has redeemed for good in the end. Its in remembering all of this that I know God will continue in his way and time to continue to work and move in the current challenges and the ones yet to come.

Monday, March 15, 2010

SWB: In and out of focus


What has been in and out of focus?


Dizzy,
I'm so Dizzy, my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool, it never ends...


These lyrics to the song "Dizzy" by Vic Reeves is what I've been feeling for the last week. About three weeks ago, I had my eyes checked and found out that I needed to graduate up to some new specs. Apparently, my up-close vision was now in need of some assistance as I'd been experiencing some eye strain. After a few days of seeing in a relaxed and clear way, I was more efficient in taking care of business that required my peepers to work well. Vocationally, the pace of spring, almost Easter but still lent, has been especially busy for me as a church youth and family lay-minister. On top of the pace, my church is in the interim process of calling a Senior Pastor. While the extra duties are present and continue to shift and move, there have been moments of great focus and excitement.

In April, I will hopefully (if I make it off the waiting list - I'm the only one on the list.) be starting a Masters Certificate Program with Princeton Theological Seminary in NJ. The program "fits" me in many ways - it is interactive with other people, it is a deeper level of theological study that I've been craving, it is affordable and my employer is supportive of the process, and it offers a mentoring aspect - on top of the fact that it is a distance program that will only require 12 days away from the home front in the 2-3 years it will take to complete.


My husband Ian and I on my graduation day on June 7, 2008.


If you know me, you understand that I've been searching for the next educational step for over a year now. After completing my Bachelors in the summer of 2008, I had thought the next step would be a MDIV program, but due to a change in circumstances it had to wait. So here it is the spring of 2010, and it looks this opportunity will be that next step I've been waiting for. If I get off that waiting list - oh PLEASE!

In some ways, the current off-focus feeling I've been experiencing I think could be resolved by the support, education and spiritual development this program offers. I don't want to place all my eggs in one basket, but I think PTS is that basket I've been looking for. As this one area of my life feels more in focus, I hope focus will begin to overflow to other areas as well.

If God provides this question be answered with the PTS program, I think the next out-of-focus area could be next in getting some attention - kind of like the help I've received from my new specs. Maybe PTS is just the focus tool I need?

If you don't mind, please say a prayer that I can be added to the enrollment list by Wednesday. Thanks. :)
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So how has your week been? How have you dealt with the in and out of focus parts of life? How is God working in you in the midst of the in and out of focus things? As always, Sleeping with Bread is a safe place to share our ups and downs, our needs and hopes. Will you share your bread this week? I won't even mind if its a little blurry.

Peace,
Lamont

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sacred Sunday - letters to G-d...



I loved these letters to G-d -
I love that G-d always wants to hear from us...