Uphill idealist

These words struck a chord in my heart... "What most often stops me achieving freedom is my tendency to be caught up in fears and expectations about what I 'ought' or 'should' be. My usual automatic responses tie me down and inhibit me from exploring new areas of growth." (Sacred Space) May I not be automatic in how I live, love and move through life. God help me to just "be" in you're presence today.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I had the sniffles. I was worried about what the work week ( as short as it was) entailed for me as my family was off on Christmas Holiday. I wanted to be with them. In my pj's and enjoying the pause after the hectic holiday season. But no. I had to go back to the office. Whine, wimper, sigh... (These were my thoughts as I dozed off last night.) "KLUNK! Thud! Giggle... Giggle ...Giggle!" Were the noises I awoke to this morning @ 6:30 am. As I opened my suprised eyes, here comes my husband and teenage daughter with Hot Oatmeal, English muffin with orange marmalade, and fresh coffee with toffee creamer. Wow. This was not the morning I had expected. My family made me breakfast in bed. It wasn't Mother's day, heck it wasn't even christmas... it is December 28th and I got to have breakfast in bed with my entire family ( my son had invaded our cozy covers at some point in the wee hours of the night). Thanks guys. You made going...

I came across this exercise a while back, but thought more folks may like to try it out. Happy praying! Tara

teach me how to see hey broken one hey you who hurt look at me let your eyes lock on to mine and shed the hidden secrets of your troubled journey your interrupted innocence the muddied waters of your broken memories teach me how to see teach me how to see because i am blinded by my dollar bills and the light of my impending career but i want to see i want to see who you are who God created you to be who He wants you to become so take my trembling finger and place it gently on that part of you that hurts that lurks in darkness that suffers in silence because i want to feel your pain but i have ignored my own pain for so long i have forgotten how to feel but my desire shrouded in frustration my desire is to see and feel that broken space because i am confident that my healer the wonderful counselor the pierced one can come and heal as he's done for me so would you give me your eyes? lend me your heart? i want to feel i want to see i want to LIVE and i want to say in my own stuttering...

I had hoped to hear some good news earlier this week. I have come to realize how important this matter has become to me. I'm blessed in so many ways, why is it that this ONE thing has seem to overshadow all the great things in my life? Some of my myspace friends would say I'm being "emo"about this, because I feel as if I could write many, many sad poems while I continue to wait for this issue to be worked out. I'm tired of the word - Issue. So many of us have them and we become so wrapped up in them - it's impossible to see anything else but - the issue. This situation isn't what I thought it would be, but it is. It is. It is. I want to be wise, thoughtful and patient in this whole matter... but I'm not. I feel so tired of waiting. As the dawn of a new year approaches, I desire for freedom - progress and movement. This is my prayer. As I wait. As I trust. Open the doors that seem stuck - help me to become unstuck - help me to not be the issue anymore...

* For what am I most grateful? Least grateful? * When did I give and receive the most love? The least love? * When did I feel most alive? Most drained of life? * When did I have the greatest sense of belonging? Least sense of belonging? * When was I most free? Least free? * When was I most creative? Least creative? * When did I feel most connected? Least connected? * When did I feel most fully myself? Least myself? * When did I feel most whole? Most fragmented?" (ltuande2.blogspot.com/ ie. mary) In light of looking at the guidelines for SWB - I think I'd like to alter my approach to the question this week. Instead of the "whole/fragmented" - I'm taking the idea and going with the words: Most grounded/least grounded. This last week has been a combination of letting go and holding on to many different things. At work, our team succeeded in distributing 610 bags of toys/gifts for the children in our community, as well as Christmas dinner for almost 500 families. It ...