Under the computer desk

Drawing I did of my daughter, around age 6.

Under the computer desk
and on the shelf
we found some memories,
of life that had been dealt.

On the shelf
and under the grime,
dust bunnies had collected
keeping company
with the history of our time.


Kindergarten, I think

There were found,
drawings, crayoned by my now almost sweet sixteen daughter's kindergarten hand
and baby picture's yellowed but delightfully grand.
Shuffling through those artifacts,
I saw a glimmer of joy surface in her eyes
reviving a life that I hadn't seen for a while.

Wipe off the dust
and remember from where you came
and step boldly and bravely
into the light and promise of this day, today.


Sweet Fifteen

T.L. Eastman

The best story I 've seen in a long time

The servant heart is not easily distracted from what is important. This man followed through with his work faithfully and made a difference between life and death of another person. He also bridged the gap in divisions of race, simply by caring for the public he'd vowed to serve. We need more real life stories like this.



For the full story about William Carol and Evangeline Harper, go to this link to the Boston Globe.

25 things to distract you from whatever

I was tagged for this quiz by my friend Julia. If you'd like to play along, enjoy!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My first name is for the theme of the film Gone with the wind - "Tara's theme", my middle name was from my Mom's school friend who was French: Lamont.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The other day, when reading The Sacred Echo.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, when I take time to write like I'm capable of.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Turkey or Cajun Chicken.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes, I think I'm good at being a friend.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Oh my, yes:)

8.DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No. You know those falling dreams, I don't enjoy those so why would I try to fall on purpose?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Frosted Mini-Wheats or Rasin Bran

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Bryers vanilla with specs of vanilla bean.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Smile or no smile when they say, "Hello."

15. RED OR PINK?
Red.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My procrastination habits

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Grandpap, he passed away several years ago now, but I think of him almost every day.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
If they so desire.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue jeans, brown shoes.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The heating system in my office.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE
Violet purple and sharp.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Clean sheets, sawdust, Lovespell, and Burt's bees milk and honey lotion.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Left a message on my friend Jeff's cell.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes and if I was Julia I'd hope I'd be cool enough to be her friend too!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Basketball, maybe.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown with coppery hi-lights.

28. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, but I could. I just were my specs as I need them.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Indian - Mutter Panak Paneer!

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy - but a good suspense film is nice now and then.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
1942 Cat People

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Teal

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

Welcome

The light of someone you know
and really knowing you
have a way of cutting through,
the anxiety of newness,
the worry of what if,
and wondering if "I" fit.

It all washes it all away knowing you have a someone and a somewhere to sit.

T.L. Eastman 09'

Be like this child

Every now and again, I experience a phenomenon of words chasing me. In this case, its a scripture from the book of Matthew in the Bible. Here below is the text that I find myself being drawn to again and again.

Matthew 18
The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

Why on earth would Jesus ask his followers to become like little children? I remember reading in the book "Speaking of Faith" by writer, Krista Tippet and her comment on this scripture.


She said something like, 'I laugh every time I think of Jesus telling us to be humble like little children. I'm a parent and humble isn't what come to mind first when I think of how children behave.'

Children are present, they live in the moment, and aren't afraid to try new things. Children are honest, they are trusting and wide eyed at the world around them.

My great nephew came over to my house this last weekend and had a great visit. He played with action figures with my son, played tag with my daughter and by the end of the afternoon was content to wander into my kitchen and say, "Can I have a ba ba?"

My great nephew is three and in that stage of transition from diapers to big boy pants, but every now and then he loves to have one ba ba to relax with in the afternoon.

I smiled at him and said, "I'm sorry little guy, but I don't have any ba ba's at my house anymore."

He was shocked. "No ba ba's?", he replied with hie eyes wide. "No, sorry. There are no ba ba' here."

The next day I found out that when Eli went to his Grandma's house, he was still wide eyed to the fact we had not bottles at our home. He told her, "Granma, there are no ba ba's at Cunkle Iron's house!" (Cunkle Iron is Eli for Uncle Ian) I find it interesting that what Eli found so amazing, I never would have even noticed. Children notice things that as adults, we often miss or would never consider.

I learned something else from my great nephew that afternoon. While he was shocked that there were no bottles of milk at my house, he wasn't angry at me. He didn't take out a disappointment on me or anyone else. He learned the fact, it surprised him, and then he went back to happily playing with action figures in the living room. He moved on with his day without any effort or regret.

Jesus is brilliant in his teaching us to become like a child. While children are unpredictable, excitable, and all the adjectives that can be used to describe them; they are tiny reflections of ourselves. Except their actions and living is much more in the moment. Children are very good at living a fluid and aware existence. Children are great teachers to those who have forgotten how to live in the current moment.

Life may have disappointments, like Eli and no ba ba's when visiting your Uncle's house. We can choose to sulk or we can choose to roll with what life hands us and move on. My nephew is great at moving on to the next adventure with his eyes wide open and filled with wonder. That is a lesson that I can learn from him, a humble child. He is the best teacher.


Eli the summer of 2007 - I call this photo "Welcome Wagon" For the record, he does have a diaper on. :)

Questions to ponder:

How can living more in the present help me in living?
What are some aspects of living more like a child that you'd like or dislike?
Think of yourself as a child. Are there any ways of working out problems that your childlike self could solve?
Is it easier to live like a child or an adult?
Jesus is quick to place himself in the same place as a child, a place of humility and powerlessness. Can I do this as easily?

God echoes, "I love you."

Image from SamanthaKrieger.com

I've been reading and interesting book written by Margaret Feinberg called "The Sacred Echo". The sub title of the book is, 'Hearing God's voice in every area of your life'. Here is a picture of Margaret and the cover of the book.



So may times when I pray, I find myself struggling to focus on what I'm praying about due to the many things that pop into my mind. Things like grocery lists, calls to make, shelves to dust and many other various 'to do's' often time succeed in distracting me from my intended purpose, praying.

Margaret's words have a way of comforting and challenging the prayfully distracted individual. She confirms that I'm not the only person on the planet that struggles in focusing on prayer and offers some helpful advice in working out the distractions.

Today I had the opportunity to share some conversation and prayer with some high school students and we spent most of the time talking about the parable of the prodigal son. We talked about who in the parable we most identified with, who we would like to be in the parable and who we actually most resemble. In the end of the discussion, we spent time focusing on the greatness of the father's love for his sons, even the prodigal one. I think our perspective on God greatly effects how we approach prayer and conversations with God. If we perceive an angry or critical God, we will respond and communicate in and out of fear. Last time I checked, fear isn't a good motivator in relationships.

So if we can begin to see God as the 'father' character in the parable of the prodigal son, I think our approach to prayer would begin to change. If we better understood that the father loved the son when he rebelled, when he was tending pigs, when he decided to come home and even when he first walked away; I think we might be better able to take steps to speaking to this God of love via our prayers.

Margaret talks a great deal about paying better attention to God and the way he tries to speak into our lives and refers to them as, echos. The following is a great explanation of God's echos and this truth of God's great love for us.

"When God echos I love you, it's not a slice of information but a feast of transformation. I am invited to experience the fullness of God's love in my life, heart and spirit. The holy metamorphosis is desinged to ring so genuine and true that others can't help but notice. When I love you is alive in my heart, I become freer to love others. When I love you is alive in my mind, I become better at expressing that love. When I love you is alive in my life, I become a smidgen closer to being who God has called and created me to be."
(The sacred echo, pg 38)

If we can receive God's love, then we will be able to share it through the words and actions in our lives. We need to really understand God's great love for us, before we can replicate it in our world. How greatly though the world needs to truly experience love in a sincere and selfless way, just like the prodigal son did.

The words, "I love you", can make a great impact on us and the world around us. Our actions even more so. Maybe today, love's echo will meet a new set of ears, and make all the difference in the world.

Sleeping with bread: Croutons

My Sleeping With Bread friend Mary Lue, mentioned last week that little crackers would suffice for bread in a pinch. So this week I'll call my bread Croutons.

This week has had both kinds of croutons, the too-crunchy-stale-out-of-the-box-kind and the tasty made at home with lots of garlic and butter kind. I suppose I'll start with the stale croutons first.

Stale croutons:

I have acquired a mean-spirited cold that does not want to quit. I'm foggy headed, feverish, and sleep-seeking. It is my main focus to consume lots and lots of OJ, Tea and anything else that is liquid. I even went to the doctors to check for strep - thankfully it isn't. Only a virus that lasts at least only 10 days, so says the Dr.

I'm frustrated that apparently some disorder and mess was left at the end of a youth event on Friday. Instead of spending a day away from work, this afternoon, I will now have to deal with the group that may or may not be responsible for the problem.
Conflict is so not my gig, but respect for each others property and person is paramount. So later today the discussion begins. RESPECT... tell me what it means to me.

The Electric Co. raised its kilowatt rates. I opened the bill this morning and exclaimed, "Wow!" Not in a good way.

I'm speaking at a student fellowship on Tuesday for 4 groups of students. I'm not feeling ready.


Tasty garlic butter croutons:

I began to partially regain my sense of smell yesterday afternoon as my son was snacking on jalapeno kettle chips. Man are they funky smelling!

By this afternoon, I will have the mystery of the crepe paper and tarter sauce packets resolved.

The sub zero winter chill is fading here. It has been reaching the 40's this weekend and there are rumors of 60 degrees by Wednesday. I can turn the heat down. :)

French onion soup is quite tasty, even when you have a cold.

I'm speaking at a student fellowship on Tuesday for 4 groups of students. I'm excited to see how it goes.

A worry that was heavily weighing on me last week, was lifted. I'm breathing a bit easier.

I will peel myself away from the computer today, and go soak up a good book the old fashioned way, page by page.

There is a community Valentines party that I'll be helping out with later this week, it should be a grand time.

I have a gig on Friday night - it's the first in a long while.

I'm making an effort to keep an eye on what I'm actually eating. I used to use a journal and successfully once lost over 30 pounds as a part of that discipline. Since exercise had become more and more regular to me since last April, keeping track if my intake (what I need as well as what I don't) may be to tool that I've been missing in my effort to be healthier.

I was unexpectedly told, "I love you." yesterday. It's still making me smile.

This week is Valentines Day. I keep trying to think upon sweet words and thoughts, even in the midst of dealing with conflict. Here are some wise words from Madeline L'Engle to ponder along in spite my cold affected mindset. Be well and don't forget the croutons, the tasty kind.

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.

I like the fact that in ancient Chinese art the great painters always included a deliberate flaw in their work: human creation is never perfect.
Madeleine L'Engle

I love you

Cartoon from Virgil @"Cartoons on the back of business cards"

In church today, an elderly woman was sitting in the pew in front of me. We said our hellos, and I chatted with her and my friend before the beginning of the service. She asked me what the time was and I told her. She thanked me. She asked me where her friend was, and I told her I wasn't sure. She thanked me.

At the passing of the peace, she turned around with great effort to say, "Peace", to me. I held her hand for a moment and she unexpectedly leaned into me and hugged me tight. She curled her face towards my ear and said, "I love you."

Her words and smile were so sweet, sincere and childlike. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes, not because I heard her speak these kind words, but because I felt them impact my heart.

Love has a funny way of sneaking up on you, taking you off guard, and reminding you of what life really is all about.

I gently hugged her back and said, "I love you too."
Not out of obligation or politeness, but because she showed me what love was first.
She was the brave one to reach out to simply share love with someone this morning.
How fortunate that someone happened to be me.

In my words and deeds, God help me to be lavish with love. You are so giving to me, why shouldn't I be with others? It's my hope that I'm as generous with love as my pew neighbor was - so much so that it's not something you hear, but something that wraps around those who receive it. Warming the chill of life from their hearts so that they in turn can reach out in love too.

Love is something that can be spoken, but it's best expressed as an action. Live in love, work in love, be challenged in love, but always, always remember the unexpected power of love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.