Quarters from grandpap

Piccaso "The Dance"

PSALM 27
Triumphant Song of Confidence of David
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
One thing that I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:
to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.
I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

When I was a little girl, I remember Thanksgiving as being one of my favorite holidays. It was especially fun if we headed to the Pittsburgh area to visit my Grandparents. Although my grandparents lived in a rather quiet suburb of the city, it was much more exciting than the rural environment I was accustomed to. For a few days, we’d spend time with our grandparents, eat meals together, talk about what we wanted for Christmas, and flip through the various family albums my Grandma had collected and filled full of photos of all her children, grand children and some great-grand children. There was a feeling of belonging that I will never forget about my Grandparent’s house. It wasn’t fancy or big. There were very few toys to play with. But somehow, in the smell of the food my Grandmother cooked, in the laughter and chatter of the whole family sharing together; I knew that this was a place that I was loved and belonged to something bigger than myself.

The hardest thing about going to my Grandparent’s home for the holiday was piling back into our family sedan and heading home at the end of the weekend. Being at my grandparent’s home was something that I never wanted to end. To help me get into the car, my Grandfather would hand me some shiny quarters and say, “Hold on to these till I see you next time.” I’d hug him so tightly, but eventually I would slump into the back seat between my brother and sister and I’d try to nap to hide the tears in my eyes as we pulled out of their drive way and begin the drive back home.

“One thing that I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.”

There are times in life so rich with meaning and emotion that we never want them to end. Sadly each day is filled with not just beginnings, but endings as well. Years later, after the passing of my Grandfather, I remember the moment when the funeral director called the family forward to say their final farewells to him. I approached the coffin, recalling all the good memories of Thanksgivings past with my Grandpap. He gave me many quarters throughout our relationship, but beyond the quarters he gave me his love, his laughter, his songs and his assurance that I belonged somewhere. As I stood there in the flood of memories, I remembered what it was like to have to leave him at the end of our visits. Only this time, his spirit had departed ahead of me.

I took out a quarter from my pocket and laid it the palm of his hand. “Grandpap, thank you for giving me all those quarters to hold on to, here is one you can hold till the next time we’re together.” In that moment, I better understood the feeling of belonging and the desire I had to never leave my grandparent’s house. Part of the feeling of belonging I’d experienced was connected to the faith we held in common. It was possible for me to walk away from his funeral that day knowing that we would always have a home in heaven together. Someday, I believe we’ll be together again.

I often wish I could live as if the quarters never run out, the sun never sets, and that the family holiday never ends; but the truth is that the coins do get spent, the sun sets and sooner or later you have to get back in the car and head back home from the holiday. Life has moments of both sadness and beauty, but God, weather we realize it or not, is always present with us. God doesn’t’ need to give me any quarters - because he’s always with me as I dance, in sorrow and joy, on the road of life.