Mary Lue shared her host post on business and rest for this weeks Sleeping with Bread Examen. Her words resonated with me in the fact that due to a significant staff change at my office, there is more work to be done and my plate is feeling fuller lately.
There have been more meetings, and lots of talking and planning. For the most part, I've felt much more connected to people since I've become more involved in this way, but oddly when I'm done for the day or night - I find myself in need of some quiet. Maybe I'm still sorting and planning in the back of my mind, but silence (even my own) is something I find myself being more and more drawn too. It's like the extra noise, both internal and external, makes me feel claustrophobic.
A few days after Christmas, I went into a game store with my son and was overwhelmed by all the noise and activity there. The store was tiny but filled with kids and their parents vying for their video game of choice. My head felt hot, my ears were ringing and I told my son, "I've got to get out of here!" . When I was a child, I used to have episodes of claustrophobia in crowded shopping malls. It's odd somehow, that this feeling seems to have returned in these specific circumstances.
But then there are moments of clearing, as Mary Lue said.
There were early morning runs in the quiet and beauty of sunrise. There was a gathering of youth and adults that were learning some music together. There was a quiet drive all by myself. There was an opportunity to play some music with two dear friends, Cindy and Jacinta, the other night. I was anxious as I hadn't played out on a long while, but as I sang a few songs and got ready to play my last tune; a feeling of clearing came over me.
I started to play, and the mood of the song swept over the room..."See, breathe, exhale sing the moments of time that the memories bring...". There was an audible hush in the room as I sang my song of clearing to the audience that was gathered. I think, no, I know, it was a moment of well-needed clearing for them as well.
So in the moments of claustrophobia, I will head for the clearing. In my heart, mind, or the quiet of the morning I will let go of the pressure and release it to the clearing of open sky, the sunrise bright, and the Creator that understands everything about me.
If you would like to listen to the song, "See Breathe." go to my myspace music page at Tara Lamont Music. I hope it is a moment of clearing for you too!
Comments
Even with frozen branches and icy roads, that's where I headed--and it was well worth the journey.
Cleared. :-)
As for breathing, it's funny you should mention that...that's where my post took me too (honest, didn't read your post before I wrote mine this morning). Isn't it interesting how the Holy Spirit works? Well, off to "slow down" in the day I'm given or at least to try to slow down. Exhaling...