This post is published at We Talk, We Listen Blog. If you would like to see that post there visit: "Pregnancy, Mary and Me"
As a pastor, I spend a lot of time in hospitals and nursing homes. It has been common for me when visiting an elderly person – most often women; that after communion or prayer to ask if there is anything they would like to talk about and they say with wide smile and glimmering eyes, “Oh I see that you are expecting – when is the baby due?”
While there is sweetness to this statement, the truth of the matter is that truly, “I am not pregnant.”
When this first happened to me, my ego and self-image took a deep dive. The defensive statements both internal and external bubble to the surface, “My children are grown!” or “Am I really that heavy?” and “Why do I keep being asked this question?”
Not too long ago, I was wrapping up a visit with an elderly woman and I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to talk about and she responded with a look of joy in her eyes…
” Dear, when is your baby arriving?” I tried my best to make a cool and calm response as I patted my stomach…” No baby, just some extra fluff here.” Thankfully the tension is broken by our simultaneous laughter.
But as I headed out of her room the self-critical inner dialogue started to reel in my mind, and then a thought outside of this negative space broke through. “Perhaps what she saw in you was hope of new life.”
What – new life – hope… and then I started to recall all the times that I’d been the recipient of the, “Are you pregnant?” question when doing visits in nursing homes. While in my humanness, I thought I was the recipient of critique of my physical state the spirit of their eyes and voices was: hope and a desire for new life.
Once I stepped out of my own way, I began to realize that what these elderly folks were longing for was a remembrance of their own young days, when instead of sitting alone in a quiet room, they were caring for their own little ones. Perhaps the reoccurring question of “Are you pregnant”, was their attempt to connect with new life and all the possibility it brings?
In the gospel of Luke, chapter one, the song of Mary responding to the conception of Jesus brings me to a space of hope, new life and unlimited possibilities.
"And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”
If I imagine what Mary might have been thinking and feeling when she comes to understand her role in God’s story, I wonder if there was a moment of protest and disbelief to a refrain, “I’m not pregnant!”
I wonder what questions Mary faced when family and friends wanted to know the details of her personal life. I wonder how many rolled their eyes, when Mary said, “I have conceived by the Holy Spirit!” Somewhere between Mary’s song, the visits with my elderly ladies, and my body continuing to become the embodiment of the gospel; is the intersection of unexpected possibility and surprises of the Holy Spirit.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, Mary sang a song, “Let it be with me”. She boldly lived into an uncertain future with serious personal and social risk.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, the elderly ladies I visit must see themselves in my presence and when asked, “What else do you want to talk about?” They tell me. They want to talk about babies, hope and new life.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, I am provided the grace to ask the question of my parishioners, “What would you like to talk about?” Only to know that what they ask is about them – and not me.
In the season of Advent into Christmas, we have waited for Emmanuel, “God with us” to arrive. As we waited, prayed and anticipated the birth of Christ; I pray our eyes sparkle in anticipation, our hearts hold on to hope and our voices are bold enough to ask the question, “God, what new life are you birthing in me this Christmas?”
The world needs more hope, life and twinkling of eyes. So for hope’s sake – don’t be afraid of the questions. The questions bring new life and open doors to holy and wild possibilities.
So here are the words of Mary, "Let it be unto me"; challenging me to bring new life into a world that is dying for it.
Let it be unto me.
Christmas joy,
Pastor Tara Lamont Eastman
Painting "Let it be unto me" by Pastor Tara L. Eastman
As a pastor, I spend a lot of time in hospitals and nursing homes. It has been common for me when visiting an elderly person – most often women; that after communion or prayer to ask if there is anything they would like to talk about and they say with wide smile and glimmering eyes, “Oh I see that you are expecting – when is the baby due?”
While there is sweetness to this statement, the truth of the matter is that truly, “I am not pregnant.”
When this first happened to me, my ego and self-image took a deep dive. The defensive statements both internal and external bubble to the surface, “My children are grown!” or “Am I really that heavy?” and “Why do I keep being asked this question?”
Not too long ago, I was wrapping up a visit with an elderly woman and I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to talk about and she responded with a look of joy in her eyes…
” Dear, when is your baby arriving?” I tried my best to make a cool and calm response as I patted my stomach…” No baby, just some extra fluff here.” Thankfully the tension is broken by our simultaneous laughter.
But as I headed out of her room the self-critical inner dialogue started to reel in my mind, and then a thought outside of this negative space broke through. “Perhaps what she saw in you was hope of new life.”
What – new life – hope… and then I started to recall all the times that I’d been the recipient of the, “Are you pregnant?” question when doing visits in nursing homes. While in my humanness, I thought I was the recipient of critique of my physical state the spirit of their eyes and voices was: hope and a desire for new life.
Once I stepped out of my own way, I began to realize that what these elderly folks were longing for was a remembrance of their own young days, when instead of sitting alone in a quiet room, they were caring for their own little ones. Perhaps the reoccurring question of “Are you pregnant”, was their attempt to connect with new life and all the possibility it brings?
In the gospel of Luke, chapter one, the song of Mary responding to the conception of Jesus brings me to a space of hope, new life and unlimited possibilities.
"And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”
If I imagine what Mary might have been thinking and feeling when she comes to understand her role in God’s story, I wonder if there was a moment of protest and disbelief to a refrain, “I’m not pregnant!”
I wonder what questions Mary faced when family and friends wanted to know the details of her personal life. I wonder how many rolled their eyes, when Mary said, “I have conceived by the Holy Spirit!” Somewhere between Mary’s song, the visits with my elderly ladies, and my body continuing to become the embodiment of the gospel; is the intersection of unexpected possibility and surprises of the Holy Spirit.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, Mary sang a song, “Let it be with me”. She boldly lived into an uncertain future with serious personal and social risk.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, the elderly ladies I visit must see themselves in my presence and when asked, “What else do you want to talk about?” They tell me. They want to talk about babies, hope and new life.
By the support and encouragement of the Holy Spirit, I am provided the grace to ask the question of my parishioners, “What would you like to talk about?” Only to know that what they ask is about them – and not me.
In the season of Advent into Christmas, we have waited for Emmanuel, “God with us” to arrive. As we waited, prayed and anticipated the birth of Christ; I pray our eyes sparkle in anticipation, our hearts hold on to hope and our voices are bold enough to ask the question, “God, what new life are you birthing in me this Christmas?”
The world needs more hope, life and twinkling of eyes. So for hope’s sake – don’t be afraid of the questions. The questions bring new life and open doors to holy and wild possibilities.
So here are the words of Mary, "Let it be unto me"; challenging me to bring new life into a world that is dying for it.
Let it be unto me.
Christmas joy,
Pastor Tara Lamont Eastman
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