Sleeping with bread: Greater than is greater than less than of life.

Less than myself/more like myself:

This last weekend, I had an unusual opportunity to step out of my routine and life as I know it and attend a woman's prayer/book retreat at Camp LCLC. Originally, I had two friends that were planning to go with me, but due to scheduling conflicts, sadly, they could not make the weekend.

Last Thursday I had a decision to make: Go bravely to the retreat without them or chicken out and stay home.

Don't get me wrong, I'm social and love to meet and be with people, but having a shift in my purpose for the weekend was where I felt least myself. That is until when admitting my thoughts of bowing out to my husband, Ian, he said - "Part of effective and necessary to ministry is the ability to simply be with others." The next day, my friend Jay quoted a line from the book The Shack (Which the weekend was based on),"Child, you have no idea what I'm doing - Papa."
Their words gave me the push I needed.

Be with others. Those were the words I found I could not ignore. Being with a group of ladies is not a place I often find myself. I was wondering: Who will I meet, will they like me, and what will I have to do to make this weekend environment work?

All of my frantic over thinking was, well, ridiculously silly. Sorry about that.

To my great surprise and enjoyment, my experience this last weekend was inviting, welcoming, encouraging, intellectually fulfilling, gift confirming and spiritually uplifting. I found that I have more sisters than I had ever dreamed, twenty eight of them to be exact! What a gift to find that I felt more like myself with these sisters - I - never - knew - I had - and can't wait - to see - them - again.

This weekend taught me so many things, but some of the best lessons learned besides the joy of taking an intentional sabbath, was in finding out that I can make new friends. In this last year of great change, I did not realize that I'd been holding out in my trust of people. I understand that in my shell-shocked state, I'd become self protective, and shielding. In a way, I'd drawn a line between myself and possible others because I was honestly afraid of loosing anyone again. Deep down I'd come to the conclusion that loosing friends had become too painful, to make new ones.

I was wrong.

It was the gentle welcome when I arrived at camp on Friday night that taught me different,
it was Donna and Tammie's affirmation and acceptance of my gifts in triad group that taught me different,
it was Mary Anne's willingness to include me in helping create the alter for worship that taught me different,
it was all the women that told me of the joy, peace, energy and love I radiated that taught me different,
it was helping with art projects and telling all the ladies "Everyone is an artist!" that taught me different,
it was the group laying hands on me in sincere prayer for feet of direction in my life that taught me different,
it was sitting silently and holding my neighbors hand - listening to an hour of healing, blessing and intercessory prayer that taught me different.
it was God's presence and speaking through the lives of all twenty eight women that taught me that I don't have to hide or shield myself from the friendship of new people.

People have seasons in our lives. Some come and go quickly and others stay for the long haul. Either way, I don't want to keep friendships from coming into my life. The risk of hurt is so much less a value than the greater blessing of new life and friendship.

The less than circumstances of life need to stop consuming the greater than opportunities.



Greater than is greater than all the less thans life gives.

I want to be a catalyst of greater than for those around me too - they just may be stuck in the place of hurt like I had been. Maybe they need the greater than to move them from the less than place I was standing one short weekend ago.
We all are part of the equation, weather we realize it or not.

I'm so thankful that I came to a place of peace this weekend. How amazing it is knowing the place that I thought made me feel less myself, actually brought me to a place where I feel I can more fully be me?

By the way, in case you don't know it:
God thinks you're cool, so you ought too know you are cool too. :)

That is bread the masses need to hear.