I started re-reading the little book Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner last evening and was reminded of her explanation of the two kinds of commandments in Judaism.
" Commandments (mitzvot): the mitzvot asei or the "Thou shalts", and the mitzvot lo ta'aseh. or the "Thou shalt nots." Sabbath observance comprises both... its easy to look at the Jewish Sabbath as a long list of thou shalt nots... but what it all boils down to is do not create. Do not create anything at all, for one of the things the Sabbath reprises is God's rest after He finished creating.
"What happens when we stop working and controlling nature?... "When we don't operate machines, or pick flowers or pluck fish from the sea?...When we cease interfering in the world we acknowledging that it is God's world." (pgs 6, 7, 8; Mudhouse Sabbath)"
Sleeping with bread is somewhat of a Sabbath ritual for me. Yes it is creative as it involves the playing and tinkering with words, but it helps me to trace God's presence with me throughout the past seven days. So here are the falling, rising and tracing moments of my last week.
I fell hard last Monday with the continued repairing of my car. Last Monday as the tow truck pulled away from my curb and took it to the shop, I surrendered all hope of it being fixed into a well of tears. I literally cried all day. I even went to work on Monday (my day off as I work Sundays), because I thought it better than sobbing all day. It sort of worked.
I was held up by my co-workers who taxied me here and there, loaned me their cars to cart my kids around to music lessons and school, and were kind to me in my miserable state. You lifted me up, thank you for that.
By Tuesday at noon I got the call from my mechanic. It was better than I thought, in fact it was good news. My heart felt a little lighter that afternoon as I picked up my car, no longer lurching down the street and starting when it was supposed to start. Simple things like this make me smile.
Wednesday was a day off. I had lunch with a friend, went to the library, drove around in the sunshine, did you read that... drove around! I went to my first worship practice for church since I started working there. The people were welcoming and we had a great night of music and fun. It was and is good.
Thursday felt good as I made some plans for the months ahead at work and seemed to begin making some needed connections and involving others in some upcoming projects. The sun was shining again on Thursday. I made it to dance class. Spring finally arrived!
Friday was challenging as I fought to stay above water of a migraine that settled in over my right eye over night. I managed to get my work done and have a fun evening activity with the parents, children and youth to celebrate spring and St. Patrick's Day. My son was off to a camp retreat for the weekend, his first at LCLC. He was giddy when my husband dropped him off with his friends.
Saturday morning I still had a migraine, but headed to dance class to try and exercise it away. The afternoon was a movie and grocery shopping with a friend. The afternoon was easy dinner of pizza from the store, taking my migraine meds and relaxing on the sofa before retiring early on Saturday night. Spring forward was here!
Sunday was good. I was feeling better and enjoyed helping with the worship at the contemporary service. There were sincere moments of emotional waves washing over me as we all sang together, hearing Ian do the message and seeing tears welling in the eyes of those around me. They were the good kind of tears.
We picked up Nigel from camp (he had a great time) had lunch at home (thanks to Ian cooking!) and I spent the afternoon surfing the net, preparing Butter Curry Chicken and Basmati Rice for dinner and catching up on Lost via the Internet.
As I skim over my week, it's a mix of work and sabbath, but I notice the off balance. It seems the sabbath or bread is always greater than the sorrow and pain. For that I'm grateful. For my family who care for me on migraine days, I'm thankful. For the doctor that discovered that medicine that actually works, I owe him my gratitude. To my mechanic who is my friend, thank you for the gifts of repair and persistence you have. To my friends who listen, have lunch and go to the movies with me, thank you. To my fellow bloggers who leave me comments, thanks - you have no idea how encouraging your words were this week. Thank you for reading and caring.
There is struggle and pain, but there is bread and Sabbath.
I'm carrying on, on four wheels even. Hold on to hope.