I knew I was in trouble when I walked in the room and was surrounded by suits, expensive cologne and lots and lots of hair gel!

Actually the people were wearing the suits, cologne and lots of hair gel. I was wearing my suede brown boots, my brown hippie skirt, simple white thermal top and my red wool jacket that I got on clearance at Old Navy.

A few weeks ago a acquaintance called me up and invited me to learn more about a part- time online opportunity. I took the invite as a nice gesture and planned on making it to the meeting, but missed it due to schedule conflicts. About a week later he returned my call and invited me to another meeting. So that was the meeting I walked into and immediately realized I was in the wrong place.

Don't get me wrong. I know the intentions of this acquaintance were good, the people were kind, they tried their best to make me feel welcome - but artsy idealist me was never going to have the excitement and enthusiasm for numbers and marketing that these folks did. I even met up with an old school mate that I hadn't seen in years and he kept reassuring me that, " You are in a terrific place. This is going to be great for you..." With each attempt to encourage me, I kept wondering why I had walked so far into the room and away from the exit. Not only had I set myself up, but my best friend too. She was a few minutes behind and was ushered into the seat next to the one that I had been ushered into. When our eyes connected I leaned over to her and said, " I'm sorry. I think I've set us up to be sheep in a room full of wolves."
She smiled back at me and pulled her casual sweater jacket closer around her as if to protect her from the sales pitch to come.

The handsome well dressed representative did everything right in his presentation. He interjected jokes, involved the group in answering questions, and worked really hard to learn all the sheep, er I mean ..candidates names. He asked me questions directly like "Does this look like a toll booth?" concerning the illustration that he had scribbled on the dry erase board and out popped, "Not so much", from my sarcastic mouth. The environment of pressure and flash-backs to my own bad experiences in sales had turned me into the legendary "sarcastic skeptical candidate". I was the difficult one that they all dreamed of converting to the world of: chasing six figure incomes and all inclusive trips Vegas ( I'm not joking on this - it was part of a bonus for quantity of sales), and the opportunity to alienate all your closest friends (Who may be sitting directly next to you wrapped up in their casual sweater) and relatives (Whom had told you it was a sales pitch from the first phone call.)by pulling them into the world of middle marketing. By the end of the presentation, the wife of the acquaintance that had invited me leaned over and said, "So what do you think? Is this something you'd be interested in?" By now my sarcasm had worn me out and my head was throbbing from stress, so I politely said, " I need to do some research on the company and get back to you." She gently said, " Oh that is good. We'll get together on Monday at my house for coffee and answer all your questions. Will _____ (my friend) come too?" My friend simply said, "I'm just here to be with _____ (me)", and somehow I accepted her invitation for coffee. What had I done?

Maybe I just was tired and didn't want to be the "angry candidate" that they all would discuss after I left the room, maybe it's the fact that I enjoy coffee, or maybe I didn't want to be rude in a room full of suits. I thanked them for their time and the invitation and my friend and I excused ourselves from the parallel world of marketing and business that seemed more like "Bizzaro" word in a Superman comic than anywhere I'd been before in my life.

So as the mental fog cleared and my friend asked, "Why did you make an appointment with them on Monday?", I told her that I wanted to research the company and the only way to get the info seemed to agree with the coffee date. Later over coffee, my friend and I laughed and discussing the good intentions of the suit people, but I realized something very important about this business venture and about me.

This business venture experience made me feel out of place and off balance because it depends on the "candidate" having the skills, gifts and interests that really are not present in my personality. Instead of walking away feeling bad about my artsy self, I felt really good knowing I could recognize who I am and what I was about. I wasn't feeling bad at all - knowing in my heart that I'm not going to be a candidate for this business opportunity. However, I will be a candidate and a promoter of the gifts, abilities and interests that are truly me.

Later today, I'm going to return the sales folder and explain that this is simply not my field of interest. Thanks, but no thanks.

I suppose that I need to thank my acquaintance for giving me the experience of being reaffirmed in the things that I want my life to be about and those that I most definitely don't want my life to be consumed by. So thank you Mr._______, for helping me to better understand who I am. Thanks for being kind and sharing this opportunity with me, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the opportunity I have to be myself and pursue my dreams is the greatest payday I will ever have.

Peace.
Tara